Under the Chestnut Tree

by Spencer Parli Tew

Released September 8, 2023

Prologue

  • I live in a hole in a wall made of plaster
    And my food supply is almost spent.
    I scurry and hide, just to stay alive, Cuz my roommate knows I’m here,
    And I don’t pay rent.

    And I see,
    He’s comin’ after me,
    He’s layin’ vicious springs,
    To break my neck.
    And it’s no fun,
    For I know soon I’ll be done,
    I’ve got nowhere left to run,
    And I’m in check.

    He’s laid out a welcome-mat of adhesive,
    On the foot of my front door.
    It ensnares my legs as I dash for the pieces
    Of breadcrumbs on the floor.

    And I’m trapped;
    My lifestring has been snapped;
    My future’s been unmapped, Before its time.

    As his hands draw close,
    I squeak out my final prose,
    For I’ll ne’er again see those
    I leave behind.

    He folds the trap around me tightly
    And turns my face to the windowpane,
    He slides it up and the lights shine brightly, In the city streets, in rain.
    I hold my breath and brace for impact
    With the concrete far below.
    I pray my soul will remain intact.
    He flicks his wrist and out I go...

    And I fly
    like a paper airplane, glide.
    I soar out into the night
    Into Unknown.

    With my final thought

    I realize I regret naught,
    For a mouse’s fate is oft
    To die alone.

    I lay on the concrete sidewalk of Boston
    and my life force has been spent...

Act I

The World, the Fool, and the King

  • There’s a River of Tears,
    And it runs through the years,
    And its vessels are piloted by nightmare machines
    There’s a River of Tears,
    And it spans ‘cross the years,
    And its vessels are piloted by nightmare machines

    But We’ll fight them You and Me,
    We’ll ignite them, With gasoline,
    We’ll defy them,
    And set ourselves free.

    There’s a River of Gold,
    That’s the dream that we’re sold
    To keep us pointing our fingers at each other. There’s a River of Gold,
    At least that’s what we’re told
    By a hoard of hoarding cowards in their towers,

    But we
    Will rise up
    Beneath the soles of their feet.
    We’ll uproot them,

    Sever stamen, crush seed.
    We’ll unseat them,
    And set ourselves / free

    Once there was a River of Shadow,
    And a River of Light,
    But they collided,
    And could not be divided again.
    Was a River of Light,
    And a River of Shadow,
    But then they collapsed, Oh
    To an Ocean of Time

    Entropy,
    Doesn’t care for your greed,
    We could spin out,
    Or tether our Wings,
    To the ground,
    To declare ourselves free.

    There’s a River of Fire,
    And a River of Ice,
    And where they meet spring forth
    the waters, oh, that brought us life

    There’s a River of Ice,
    And a River of Fire,
    They feed the roots that sprouted
    Out to every Kingdom far and wide
    And our last chance
    Of turning the tide,
    Will burn out
    When all the Rivers run dry...

    [Matt’s weeping guitar solo]

    There’s a River of Death,
    And we’re all only one breath
    Away from visiting its banks
    To pay our own respects.

    There’s a River of Death,
    So when you’ve got nothing left,
    Just don’t forget a quarter

    For the Ferryman values one thing.
    Down below
    As up above, it would seem.
    No asylum
    From the Empire of Green
    So wise up;
    Nothing is ever quite free.

  • Eyes to the Eastern skyline,
    Towering shapes that cut my eyeline
    Then eyes to the West coast,
    From sea to shining sea, a sea of forgotten love I boast,

    Eyes to Indiana,
    A restless heart lost in San Francisco
    Then Eyes to Boston Harbor,
    I thought that love would take me farther.

    Oh, there’s light on the highway up ahead,
    As gentle thoughts drift through my head,
    Cuz I know somewhere
    There’s a life for me to live,

    It could be far away,
    Or somewhere close to home,
    I know, I know,
    I know, I know.

    Eyes to lonely Allston,
    Where ghosts play pranks
    On drunken freshmen,
    Then Eyes to Brighton Hill,
    A year of bliss,
    Nothing amiss,
    Until I nearly lost my Will

    There’s light on the highway up ahead,
    As gentle thoughts drift through my head,
    Cuz I know somewhere
    There’s a life for me to live,

    It could be far away,
    Or somewhere close to home,
    I know, I know,
    I know, I know.

    Occhi all’Arezzo vecchio (Eyes to old Arezzo)
    Ho travato un amore nuovo, in me stesso
    (I learned a new love, in myself)
    Occhi al Galway Bay, (Eyes to Galway Bay)
    Adrift no more,
    I made my own way.

    Oh, there’s light on the highway up ahead,
    As gentle thoughts drift through my head,
    Cuz I know somewhere
    there’s a life for me to live,
    It could be far away,
    Or somewhere close to home,
    I know, I know,
    I know, I know.

    On 57th, near St. Clair,

    The wind blew trash into the air,
    And dancing plastic filled the sky,
    Like clear white birds against the night,
    And I know somewhere there’s a dream of me and you,
    It’s true, it’s true,
    It’s true, it’s true.

    On 57th, near St. Clair,
    The wind blew trash into the air,
    And dancing plastic filled the sky,
    Like clear white birds against the night,
    And I know somewhere there’s a dream of me and you,
    It’s true, it’s true,
    you’re trash, it’s true
    it’s true, it’s true.

  • There: high up on the hill,
    Beneath the old windmill,
    Sat King Will.

    Will, in long lost times, had lost his crown.
    His kingdom walls had all come down.
    And he grew horns above his brow.

    Lost. He watched the wind do what it could,
    Spinning slats of ancient wood.
    And he saw that it was good.

    He rose and wandered to the farmer’s door,
    To ask him what his crops were for,
    And he said: “Money”

    And Will said “What about house and home?
    What about the kids that you’ve grown?
    What about the food in your throat?
    What about your wife when she moans?
    What about the stars that you own?”

    The farmer replied,
    He had previously lied,
    And his wife, it seemed,
    had died (please don’t lose)
    From a tumor in her side (yourself to grief)
    And in Will he did confide, (my love)
    That money, oh, money was his way to hide.

    Then Will made his way to town,
    And as we walked on altered ground,
    He was shocked by what he found.

    Although the sun was shining bright,
    The piazza bathed in light,
    All the people were inside.

    He ran in circles searching through the night
    For someone to confess his plight
    And he found me.

    And I told him of so long ago
    When I first left my home,
    Trying to live on my own,
    So much I didn’t know,
    Of things written in parchment and stone.

    Then Will reminded me, (say goodbye)
    I had left my family, (to your family)
    And in trying to be free, (You left us)
    I had cast them out to sea, (But we
    can wait)
    But I knew I’d had to leave, (forever)

    So I asked him,
    “O, What was it better to be?”
    Of love he’d found and lost,
    Of distant bridges he had crossed,
    Of poor decisions he had made without considering the cost.
    At long last, he turned his face to see,
    The expectant expression upon me,
    Whom had waited patiently.

    He said “Fill your life,
    With time outside,
    With love you cannot hide,
    with your doors open wide.
    Don’t be afraid
    Of mistakes that you have made,
    But be aware the part you’ve played,
    In others’ lives.

    With that,
    Will walked into the sea,
    Exiting most gracefully,
    As he waved his hand to me.
    Alone at last,
    Upon a foreign shore,
    Not knowing at all what’s in store,
    I feel free.

Act II

Mixed Metaphor is a Hell of a Drug

  • 1,2,3…
    Well the wallpaper’s peelin’
    And the gods are fallin’ down,
    And the air we breathe
    Won’t always be around.
    There was a cup of liquid dreams I had
    But I rid them all of you,
    So the molecules got shifted,
    Viscously converting all my reds into blues

    And every couple of days,
    I’ll wander out from my haze
    To see the sun.
    And in a couple of years,
    We’ll meet up and share a beer,
    And then we’ll run.
    But as time passes by,
    I’ll run out of tears to cry
    Into a mask.
    So in a decade or so,
    I’ll think back on years ago,
    And I will laugh.

    Well my mind is getting murky,
    And my body is going cold,
    And each night I weep,
    For my lack of sleep
    Makes me feel myself growing old.

    I built a house out of expectations
    On a foundation made of mirrored glass,
    When the roof caved in
    I started spinnin’ down
    To seal my fate between the cracks.

    And every once in a while,
    I will remember your smile,
    And lose my breath.
    Oh, and the dress that you wore,
    On the night that we swore,
    We were ‘till death.
    But as time passes by,
    I’ll run out of tears to cry
    Into a mask.
    So in a decade or so,
    I’ll think back on years ago,
    And I will laugh.

    Well the warm winds are blowin’
    Makin’ sludge out of dirty snow,
    And my photographic memory
    Started losing pixels long ago.
    See my wishbone got broken,
    But nobody got the bigger end,
    When both sides realized they were more inclined
    To break than they were to bend.

    And every once in a while,
    I will remember your smile,
    And lose my breath.
    Oh, and the dress that you wore,
    On the night that we swore,
    We were ‘till death.
    But as time passes by,
    I’ll run out of tears to cry
    Into a mask.
    So in a decade or so,
    I’ll think back on years ago,
    And I will laugh.

    And in a couple of days,
    I’ll wander out from my haze
    To see the sun.
    And in a couple of years,
    We’ll meet up and share a beer,
    And then we’ll run.
    But as time passes by,
    I’ll run out of tears to cry
    Into a mask.
    So in a decade or so,
    I’ll think back on years ago,
    And I will laugh.

    (giggle)

  • I am not a lonely wanderer
    Seeking shelter for the night.
    No, I’m but a humble cave-dweller,
    A hermit of my modern life.
    Singing songs in a cold, dark room
    About the wonders of the great outside.

    But all the while I sit
    Looking back on pictures
    Of a life I left behind
    When I was blind.
    When you were mine.

    On a Sunday at the end of May
    I ate a funny hotdog bun
    And fell into a dream.
    Where all the faces weren’t reflections
    And the voices rang out clear
    And as the tears glazed down our cheekbones
    We all toasted in in good cheer, and we
    We left the shadows
    And we ran into the rain
    I saw the future,
    Knew good love would come again

    So I thanked all my stars
    That had blown apart
    For all the gifts they’d given me
    Yet to be seen.
    Yet to be seen.

    Seven billion years ago
    When the Earth was still Stardust.
    How could they have ever known
    Oh that death might become us.

    Seven billion years ago
    When the Earth was still Stardust.
    How could they have ever known
    Oh that death might become us.

    Seven billion years ago
    When the Earth was still Stardust.
    How could they have ever known
    Oh that death might become Love.

    On the day I crawled out on the shore
    I saw a thousand pairs of eyes
    All looking up for something more.
    I fixed my sights
    And set to follow down the lighted path,
    Its overgrown with berry patches (buried hatchets)
    Rows of roses

    Oh and so I left my cave
    Now to find a way
    To wander on my own,
    but not alone
    Oh not alone.

  • A Summer fling turned into a Winter cling
    But she’s startin’ to bring me down.
    Took a row out on a paddleboat,
    But it's time to bring it back around.

    I know love and baby you ain’t it.
    So it’s time to hit the bricks and split
    Don’t try to tell me that I’m breaking your heart
    Cuz you’re just biding your time till you find a better fit.

    Oh Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh Yeah

    I never thought I’d be pullin’ this apart
    But the time to own up’s come and gone.
    It's a shame, cuz so hot was the flame
    But it gets colder as it drags on and on.

    See I’m lost and drownin’ out in the waves,
    And I know it won’t be you that saves me,
    And we could keep on lyin’ till we’re hurt and broke and dyin’
    But I’d rather get real about how we misbehave

    Oh Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

    A Summer fling turned into a Winter cling
    But she’s startin’ to bring me down.
    Took a row out on a paddleboat,
    But it's time to bring it back around

    I know love and baby you ain’t it.
    So it’s time to hit the bricks and split
    Don’t try to tell me that I’m breaking your heart
    Cuz you’re just biding your time till you find a better fit.

    Oh Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh Yeah

    I never thought I’d be pullin’ this apart
    But the time to own up’s come and gone.
    Its a shame, cuz so hot was the flame
    But it gets colder as it drags on and on.

    See I’m lost and drownin’ out in the waves,
    And I know it won’t be you that saves me,
    I’m fine bein’ hurt and broke and dyin’
    But I’d rather get real about how we misbehave

    Oh Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Act III

My Heart on Fire

  • Over and over, over and over,
    Over and over again I leave my heart out in the cold.

    Cuz a loveless life lies easy, loveless life lies easy,
    A loveless life lies in the dark trying to sleep,
    Counting sheep.

    So tell me again that you love me,
    Tell me again that you love me,
    One more time before I let you go.

    Don’t tell me my day’s coming soon.
    Don’t tell me how it happened for
    you.
    I just wanna be sad ‘till I run down.

    So maybe I’ll blame it all on the earthquake
    Blame it all on the earthquake
    For rippin’ and splittin’ and shakin’
    and breakin’ us down.

    Or maybe I’ll blame it all on the rainfall
    Blame it all on the rainfall,
    On the steps of the church
    where you told me we weren’t worth the hurt.

    Or maybe I’ll
    blame it all on the whiskey,
    Blame it all on the cigarettes,
    Or the locked door between us
    that never will open again.

    Or maybe I’ll blame it on you,
    And all of those growing pains you put me through,
    I don’t wanna look back,
    so I suppose I’ll just keep my eyes shut.

    Over and over, over and over,
    Over and over again I jump in the deep end.

    I can always get to the bottom
    Always swim to the bottom.
    By the time that I get there I’ve no air to get me back up.

    So tell me again that you love me,
    Tell me again that you love me.
    One last time before I say goodbye.

  • I crawl out of that black water,
    And declare I do arise.
    By degrees I see the future.
    I’m exaltant to the light.
    Naked, cold,
    I must be bold.
    I’m here to tend my enterprise

    I am Human,
    Anxious, chosen
    Of a mother who provides
    I am Human
    Anxious, chosen
    By a mother who provides.

    To the hills I’ll build a shelter
    Out of blood and sweat and clay
    I will raise up me and mine.
    Beat back the beasts
    Keep Dark at bay
    By Sword and Shield,
    Our pastures yield
    Enough to see another day.

    We will build
    Until we’ve filled
    Our hearts with dreams enough to
    stray.
    We will build,
    Until we’ve filled
    Our hearts with grit enough to stay;

    Come the years of drought and famine
    Our resolve will be revealed
    We will crack and break our backs
    Upon the yoke of fortune’s wheel
    And in the end,
    My knee will bend,
    Before the Kings of Gold and Steel

    I am Human,
    If I must, I can forget, oh, how to feel
    I am Human,
    If I must, I can be taught, oh, how to kneel.

    As the war machine keeps grinding,
    We will feast upon the Earth.
    Our sweat and toil
    Will burn the Oil
    That black water of my birth.
    ‘Til Mother Gaia must deny our shallow cries,
    For more to burn.

    We’ll heat the skies to melt the ice so ocean’s rise
    To end our turn.
    We’ll heat the skies to melt the ice so ocean’s rise
    To end our turn.

    I crawl back into that water,
    With my head sunk low in shame,
    All my industry and progress
    Set to drown beside my name.
    At last at rest, I must confess,
    I know I’d do it all the same.

    I was Human,
    Anxious, Chosen,
    I return from whence I came.
    I am Human,
    Anxious, Chosen,
    I retire my flame.

  • Down to the West of Roxbury,
    Amidst the chaos, a quiet peace.
    Then back to Naptown I return
    The heartache of a dream deferred.
    Under my lonely Chestnut Tree,
    Consigned to sift through memories.

    Lost on that Island as before,
    Eight cycles since I seen this shore,
    We lost the last boat once again,
    Dazed by the ghosts of old dear friends,
    A hotel song and they were gone,

    And when my mind is well at ease,
    I know that home is you and me.
    So let’s to the top of Copley Square,
    We’ll face forever together there.
    Out through the windows into the night,
    Our songs will light the sacred rites,
    Amidst a sea of family,
    We will fulfill the prophecy
    Of Stardust and Mycelium.

Epilogue

  • 1,2,3..
    I gotta get a better metaphor
    For where my head is at,
    Exactly what am I to do,
    To make it through
    And start again.

    Truth is just a weakness
    When the world runs on a lie,
    By now the worms have had their fill
    Of rotten wills and alibis

    And still, the path remains a maze,
    So I live for the days
    That filleth up my cup.
    Oh, but I’ll try to work to see the day
    That I’m not in the way
    And I can lift you up.

    I gotta set aside the notion
    That I’m always in between.
    Oh, like a nervous little mouse
    That lives in my periphery.

    I gotta get a grip on if my past
    still has a price to pay,
    The future’s calling me
    And all I see,
    Are the roadblocks in the way.

    And still, the path remains a maze,
    So I live for the days
    That filleth up my cup.
    Oh, but I’ll try to work to see the day
    That I’m not in the way
    And I can lift you up.

    Apathy is the privilege of those
    Who never went unfed
    And just as soon as we jump in
    We’ll find we’re in over our heads.

    If you don’t wanna join it
    Then the world won’t ask for much
    You can live worry-free
    And all you need to be
    Is out of touch.

    And still, the path remains a maze,
    So I live for the days
    That filleth up my cup.
    Oh, but I’ll try to work to see a day
    When I’m not in the way
    And I can lift you up.

CREDITS

Lead vocals, acoustic guitar, ukulele, piano, synth: Spencer Parli Tew
Percussion, bass guitar, electric guitar, backing vocals: Matt Heath
Backing vocals, flute, featured lead vocals : Margaret Clark


All songs written and performed by Spencer Parli Tew
Produced, mixed, and mastered by Matt Heath
Album Artwork: Sawyer Greenberg

Special Thanks

Teresa Parli, Kip Tew, Robin Tew, Riley Jane Tew, Quinn, Rob, and Rowan, Jeff and Nancy Greenberg, Brent Ervin-Eickhoff, Ben Heath, Cameron Torres, Frank Redner, Tyler Prendergast, Jesse Garlick, Will Madden, Will Dameron, Kyler Taustin, Grace Kennedy Woodford, Audrey Schuler, Ethan Zoeckler, the doctors, nurses, and staff of MGH, my BFA thesis partners, all those unnamed among pronouns within, and the mouse.